True story: A guy at work loves the McRib so much that every once in a while, when McRib isn’t on McDonald’s menu, he’ll hack together a pseudo McRib lunch and invite other coworkers. People invited are tasked to bring one ingredient each and meet for lunch to cobble together these sandwiches. I attended a few of these luncheons because here’s the kicker: they’ve found that MorningStar Farm’s® Hickory BBQ Riblets patties are the closest approximation to the actual McDonald’s McRib sandwich!
But recently McRib has been in the news because it’s back on the menu and McRib enthusiasts are shitting themselves again while the rest of us scratch our heads and shrug. We’ll maybe not all of us because when there’s love, there’s haters. When there are haters, there’s hate. Cuz internet rule #472 is: haters gonna hate. So it’s no surprise that haters gonna pick up on all this joy over a food item and target these daring food fanatics to bring them down a notch for a crumb of attention.
Some random internet writer was able to dig up, after much in-depth investigation (going to McDonald’s website), the secret (widely available) list of ingredients that they don’t want you to know (make public) that are in the McRib. The big news here is that there are over 70 ingredients in that sandwich. *GASP!* Not only that, but it is “jam-packed” fulla synthetic ingredients. The scariest one is also used in the manufacturing of foamed plastics!
When I initially saw that article I thought to myself “Yeah, I bet it’s a patty full of fakey fake fake filler and preservatives, who cares anyways?”. Well haters who gonna hate care and vegans are a special niche of that group. They got a whiff of that 300 word article and it was enough to flaunt it in the faces of those who eat said products. Erik Marcus, always on that forefront, declared this article akin to the epitaph on the tombstone of the doomed McRib sandwich:
Once upon a time, McDonald’s could get away with selling this dreck without being held accountable—but the internet has changed that forever.
If there are vegan haters out there then you might call this Pythagorean a vegan hater hater. Hey, it’s what I do. Now the discourse has been pushed into my territory and it made me curious enough to check the original claim. Turns out, the part of which vegans should take issue, the patty, has the least amount of ingredients (next to onions). Most of the ingredients reside in the bun, which for all intents and purposes, is itself vegan! In fact, the only part of the sandwich which DOES contain animal ingredients is the patty which consists mostly of pig.
The vegan version of this sandwich patty using Morningstar Farms Riblets would add 24 ingredients and because it comes with its own sauce and we do the math it comes out to be one ingredient less than the original in total. 69 Ingredients! Does one ingredient make the difference to garner so much ire? Or is it once again the quality of the ingredients. Let’s look at that.
The vegan riblet version contains some shocking ingredients:
- dihydrogen monoxide: the main ingredient and also used in industrial solvents, pesticides and styrofoam. It’s so dangerous that it’s the 3rd leading cause of unintentional injury death worldwide!
- methylcellulose: also used in construction materials and wallpaper pastes.
- phosphate: also used in paints, aluminum polish, flame-retardants and cleaning solutions.
So there you go folks. If you want a more wholesome sandwich you might want to line up at McDonalds and load up on McRibs sandwiches. If you’re vegan then I guess you’re out of luck with yet another thing NOT VEGAN. If you would rather just avoid animal flesh though, then make vegans squirm and enjoy a Morningstar Farms Riblet sandwich!